


Silver Linings

by the_aerialist



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 14:24:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8986321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_aerialist/pseuds/the_aerialist
Summary: Victor dies in a horrible accident leaving Yuri alone with his thoughts. Yuri finds that Victor had written messages on the posters hidden under his bed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the tumblr post by @johnandkatpluseight and @yaoi-on-skates

Eight days, three hours, twelve minutes, and fourteen, no fifteen, now sixteen seconds since Yuri got the call that night. “There’s been a plane crash…. Couldn’t have been prevented… freak accident…” Words crash into one another, each more difficult to comprehend than the last. His thoughts piled on top of one another, forming mountains upon mountains of emotions that he couldn’t even begin to sort through right now. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to, actually.

The flight was supposed to take Victor home to Makkachin so that he could be there for what ended up being the last few hours of the dog’s life. Instead, almost an hour after take-off the engines of the plane backfired. No one knew exactly what had happened but it crashed, leaving no survivors. They were supposed to compete in the free skate program the following day, but none of the skaters showed up for practice in the morning and the event was rescheduled for the next week.

Yuri had gone to the funeral. His mind played through the details of that night, leading up to the plane ride home.  
***

There were tons of people there, but not many that he knew, apart from Yakov, his fellow skaters, and Yuri. It was the first time he’d seen Yakov display an emotion that wasn’t distaste or shielded pride. Yuri tried to look away as the man wept silent tears with shaking shoulders and an arm wrapped tightly around Lilia, who hid her face for the better part of the ceremony. Yurio had stared at the ground, unmoving for the most part. That is, of course, until Yuri’s tears became panic and his chest began to hurt not from sadness but from a lack of oxygen. Then, it was Yurio who came over and gently guided him away from the crowd, helping Yuri to sit on the ground and put his head between his knees, rubbing small circles on the older man’s back until he’d calmed down enough to return. 

The other skaters stood in a group, each person’s face solemn and tear streaked, though for the most part, they kept themselves calm and quiet for the ceremony. Yuri didn’t know how the fans responded. Sometimes he thought he hated them for even showing up. They didn’t know him, nor did they want to. To them, Victor was just the five-time world champion, a legend that they happened to be alive to watch make history. But they didn’t know who he was, or what jokes made him laugh, or hard it was going to be without seeing him every day. They didn’t understand. 

Afterwards, Yurio had walked back to the hotel with him. It was cold outside but neither of them seemed to care as they trudged through the snow in their suits. “You know, you could just stay here for a while. If you don’t want to get on a plane I mean. I’d understand.” Yurio offered hesitantly. Yuri felt tears filling his eyes once again. This small fifteen-year-old kid was looking out for him. He was so young. Yuri felt like it should be reversed. He smiled just a little, looking over to Yurio who was staring intently up at him. “Thank you Yurio. But I have to get home. My family will want me to be there with them.” Yurio nodded, but Yuri could tell that there was more on his mind.

“The free skate is next weekend now. If you don’t want to compete, you don’t have to tell anyone. I’ll take care of it. I’ll tell Yakov or something and you’ll be safe to do as you please.” Yet another kind offer. This one though, Yuri couldn’t refuse. He tried to answer, but the words got stuck behind the lump in his throat and the tears that had threatened to spill down his cheeks came in cascades. He stopped walking and his legs gave out from under him. The tears became sobs that engulfed him. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. He was supposed to retire at the end of this year, and Victor was supposed to begin training again and they were supposed to be together. 

Yuri was learning more and more recently that things didn’t always turn out the way they were supposed to. He didn’t know how long he had been kneeling on the ground for, but when he felt strong enough to stand again, Yurio held his hand out. Yuri took it and then stood up, brushing the snow from his clothes in the process. “I can’t skate again Yurio.” The words came out before Yuri really had a chance to think about them. In his heart, he knew that it was true. He’d never be able to take to the ice again without looking for Victor along the wall or gliding along with him, trying to demonstrate the proper position for a jump. In the same way that Victor had given life to the sport, he had ruined it as well. 

“You don’t have to. But he’d want you to you know. He always had so much faith in you. It’s why I left Hasetsu before the awards ceremony. I could see in his eyes that he believed you would outshine even the best of us in the end. And he didn’t really think you needed him for that. He just wanted to help you figure it out for yourself.” Yurio said quietly. Although the words must have been hard for him to share, there was no sense of disdain in them, only sadness. 

Of course he was probably hurting just as much as Yuri was. They’d been rink mates for years, training under Yakov and going to competitions together. “What about you though Yurio? You trained with him for years, and even now…” Yuri trailed off, unsure of how to continue. “I’ll be fine Pork Cutlet. I’ll compete like always. I… I guess I’ll miss him too though.” 

The snow was beginning to fall faster and neither of them really had much else to say. They walked the rest of the way in silence, not daring to speak until they got onto the elevator. “What floor are you on?” Yurio asked, sounding more tired than he had only minutes before. Yuri could see that his eyes were red and that there were fresh tears on his cheeks. He must have been crying during the end of their walk. “I’m on seven. You’re on five, right? Do you want someone to keep you company for a while?” Yurio shook his head. “I’m fine Pork Cutlet. Go to your room. Get some rest. If you’re leaving tomorrow, you’re going to need it.” 

Yuri put his hand on the smaller kids back. “Good luck next weekend Yurio. I’ll be rooting for you. And you know where I’m at if you ever need a place to go.” Yurio looked back as he stepped out of the elevator. “Don’t think that we’re friends now. The next time we skate together, I’m going to destroy you.”

Yuri froze. The usually angry Russian sounded so small now. His words used to be aggressive, but now they were just tired. He sounded unsure now. It made sense. Yuri could see that Yurio wanted him on the ice again, and hoped that he was just taking a break, but at the same time, there was a very realistic possibility that he wouldn’t. Yuri sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Going back to the ice just wasn’t a possibility right now, and in his mind, never would be again.  
***

Yuri closed his eyes, remembering how sad everyone had been the last time he’d seen them. Several of them had called or messaged since, but he’d never answered. He had tried to keep up with results through news articles, but had to stop when the only pieces being written were about “The Loss of a Legend.”

“I need him now more than I ever have. And yet, he’s the only person I can’t call.” Yuri thought helplessly. He always had been mentally weak, but at least when Victor was around he could be sure that someone believed in him. Now, it felt like the world was being too gentle, waiting for him to snap and fall to the floor in a million pieces. And he had, in a sense. Skaters hearts were as fragile as glass and his had shattered into an irreparable mess. Each remaining fragment was a memory that was too precious to let go of yet too sharp to hold onto.

As Yuri laid in his bed, he thought of what his life had been like before Victor’s arrival. He’d been so scared and weak, not a shred of self-confidence to be found. Not to mention a severe lack of Eros. But then, Victor had a way of changing the people he met. Not because he was a profound and wise person, but because it was hard to be in the same general area as someone so great and not be inspired to do incredible things with yourself. It was then that Yuri remembered the posters hidden under his bed.

He got out of the bed and sat down on the floor slowly. His body was weak from exhaustion. He hadn’t eaten anything substantial in days and sleep was practically a miracle for him at this point. He pulled out the stack of glossy papers, and realized that they weren’t in the same order as before. Usually, he organized them with his favorite on top so that if he did end up pulling them out, Victor’s smiling face was the first thing he’d see but today it was different. 

The first picture was one of Victor during training. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, gliding across the ice as he practiced his short program. Today though, Yuri noticed the silver ink that stained the page. As he read the words, his vision blurred and the tears that he thought he’d run out of began to flow again. He flipped through the posters now, not reading just yet but looking. Victor had written on every single one of them. Somehow, even now, Victor was managing to surprise Yuri.

Yuri went back to the first one, determined to get through them all without falling apart too badly. The first one read _I always hated these pants. I burned them after the photo shoot. Unlike me, you look very wonderful in your pants during training._ Yuri laughed. Victor always had been very specific about the clothes he wore, so for someone to have picked them out for him must have been a crime in his mind. He flipped to the next one.

This one was more recent. He was performing his program of “Stay Close to Me and Never Leave.” The very thought of the song made Yuri tear up again. This time though, he could read through them as he fell. The only thing written on this was _I love you so much. Stay Close to Me and Never Leave?_. The tears fell faster now and Yuri put the poster aside to read the next one. And then the next and the next. Each one was more heartbreaking than the last and as Yuri read through messages of encouragement and love, he couldn’t help but fall apart. By the time he got to the last poster, he was in pieces.

Victor was at Junior World Championships in Barcelona. He was smiling, his long hair flying behind him. He was smiling that traditional Victor Nikiforov smile and he looked so unbelievably happy. Yuri read the message printed neatly on the side. _this was in Barcelona. It was the first time I’d won World Championships (although this one was the junior division) and I’d never been happier with a result. Grand Prix Finals are there this year. Let’s go together, but this time you’ll be standing in first place. I know that you can._

 

Yuri felt himself drop the poster beside him and pull his knees tightly to his chest. He buried his head in his arms and cried more than he’d ever cried before. He didn’t even notice when Mari came in and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly until he ran out of tears. His body shook and when he tried to speak nothing came out. Mari looked down at the posters, her eyes softening as she realized what had triggered this.

“He told me he’d written on those a few weeks ago. He had always known that they were there and finally one day he wanted to write on them because he knew that you looked at them when you needed inspiration or were feeling down on yourself. He asked which one was your favorite. I know it’s hard to see them now, and that you feel like you’ll never be okay again, but I’m really glad he went through with it. You’ll always have yourself Yuri. You never lost that. But now you’ve got him with you too. All of his love and his faith in you is in those posters.”

Yuri nodded, still not trusting himself to speak. He knew that she was right. The more he looked at the posters, the more he thought of what Yurio had said. “Next time we skate together, I’m going to destroy you.” He gazed at Victor’s smiling face looking up at him, and read the words again. “This time, you’ll be standing in first place.” And why shouldn’t he? He didn’t qualify this year. And he didn’t know what he’d do next year. But he’d try so hard that there’d be no way anyone could stop him and maybe, just maybe, Victor would be right. At least, he hoped that if Victor were still around he’d be able to make him proud.


End file.
